 
Ardent They! Gary and Mardee Regan's Ardent Spirits website has undergone a nice revamping, due to some assistance from Robert "DrinkBoy" Hess. Read the latest newsletter (with articles on Macallan cask strength, liquor product placement, and making the 150-year-old cocktail, the Tom & Jerry), their adventures on cocktail safari with Dale DeGroff, reviews of Mardee's new book, and lots more. My new favorite gin. Nope, it's not Bombay Sapphire (although that's good) ... it's Plymouth Gin. The favorite of Ian Fleming, Winston Churchill, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and especially Dr. Cocktail as well (so I'm in good company), it's just about perfect. It's not as "soft" as Sapphire or Tanqueray No. 10, not as assaultively junipery as Boodles (which is like biting into a pine cone). I think this one's it... enough juniper without overwhelming you, complex with botanicals. Yum yum yum. NPR's Alex Chadwick bravely samples some Plymouth Gin whilst in the line of duty on a piece on the storied gin and its history on today's "Morning Edition", featuring our pal Gary Regan, the aforementioned Ardent Spirit. Listen to Gary describe it:
Juniper nose with a fresh herbal backdrop, a highly perfumed body, very dry palate with complex, fresh juniper-herbal floral notes, and a crisp, dry finish.Alex suggests bringing cocktail fixins (for instance, a Plymouth Gin Martini) instead of a covered dish this Thanksgiving, and especially instead of the overly long-lived NPR holiday tradition that involves making a vile, Pepto-Bismol-colored cranberry "relish" with horseradish. Much better idea. Bye-bye, Britney. The restaurant world really didn't need you anyway, dear. Stick to bubblegum pop and your novel-writing career. From the New York Post (who expire links daily, apparently):
Britney Spears has washed her hands of Nyla, the embarrassingly bad eatery she opened in the Dylan Hotel just five months ago.I think her lawyer's full of it. If she was a primary investor and co-owner, then she does have responsibility for its debts, even if she didn't have much of anything to do with its operations. She named the place, fa Gawd's sake. It's no wonder they see it as hers. I have to quibble with the New York Health Department, though ... saying that they "contaminated" a bottle of Scotch with an infusion of fruit? Fruit infusions in liquor are quite common, and are even the cornerstone of such places as the Infusion Bar and Restaurant in San Francisco. I'll bet now that she's out and Forgione's the chef, they'll change the name pretty quickly to remove all associations with its former owner. BRAAAAAAINS! I want to eat your brraaaainsss! No, it's not "Return of the Return of the Living Dead" (best horror movie line ever: "Send more cops.") ... you too can eat brains. With a delightful cherry center. Ho ho hmmm? Hey, who says that a bunch of wacky Norwegians shouldn't let Santa Claus get the same perks that the 42nd President got? (The accompanying photo is not necessarily work-safe. I'd say they could have done a better job with the window display, eh?) Jethro goes to Sin City. Max Baer Jr., who once played Jethro Bodine on "The Beverly Hillbillies", became typecast and couldn't get any roles after the series ended, so he's going to capitalize on his persistent image by plastering his face all over penny slots in Vegas. Well sure, why not?
Happy anniversary, Mom 'n Dad! Have fun today! Oops, I'll serve something else. From yesterday's New York Post, via email from Meredith. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the link, but here's the relevant snippet:
No mo' gumboActually, Larry Forgione is a great chef. Considering that he still runs his signature restaurant in New York, An American Place, I'm assuming that he'll be consulting chef, or some such role. My TiVo thinks I'm gay! Or else it thinks you're a Nazi aficionado, or a Korean-speaker, or some classification based on what you ask it to record, and it records other programming that it thinks you'll want to watch. When we move into the new house, we'll be getting the DirectTV/TiVo combo. Among other things I'll be recording half a dozen shows on the Food Network, plus "Smallville", "Will and Grace" and "Six Feet Under". The TiVo will definitely be "looking at me funny."
Mmmm, chocolate bubble bath. Chocolate. It's not just for candy bars anymore. Wanted: Dead or ... Dead. The effort to convince Louisianians that nutria are actually good eatin' (tastes like farm-raised rabbit, apparently) has been a smashing failure, and the nutria overpopulation problem has reached a critical point, as they destroy our wetlands and eat the plants that help keep the coastline from eroding. The solution? The State of Louisiana now offers a bounty for dead nutria -- $4 a tail. Here's your chance to be a bounty hunter ...
Mr. Darwin? You're wanted in reception. This guy was trying really, really hard to remove himself from the gene pool, apparently. Mostly, I'm relieved he survived, but a small part of me wonders if, as a species, we really need a guy who thinks it's a good idea to kiss poisonous snakes.
Secret U.S. court OKs electronic spying. From c|net: "A secretive federal court on Monday granted police broad authority to monitor Internet usage, record keystrokes and employ other surveillance methods against terror and espionage suspects."
In an unexpected and near-complete victory for law enforcement, the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court of Review overturned a lower court's decision and said that Attorney General John Ashcroft's request for new powers was reasonable.Encrypt your email. From the New York Times: "Internet providers such as America Online could give the government more information about subscribers and police would gain new Internet wiretap powers under legislation creating the new Department of Homeland Security. Provisions of the bill tucked into a section about "cyber-security enhancements" received scant attention during debate.
Another part of the Homeland Security bill gives U.S. authorities new power to trace e-mails and other Internet traffic during cyber attacks without first obtaining even perfunctory court approval. That could happen only during 'an immediate threat to national security," or an attack against a "protected computer." Prosecutors would need to obtain a judge's approval within 48 hours.PGP is a very good way to encrypt your email, which, as you should know if you don't already, is as easy to intercept and read as a postcard. Using email encryption is no different than putting a personal letter inside a sealed envelope. I got yer turducken right here, pal. New York Times reporter Amanda Hesser tries to track down the primary ingredients -- a completely boned turkey, duck and chicken -- for a turducken ... in New York City. ("New ... York ... City?!")
At Hébert's (pronounced ay-BEARS), which has locations in Louisiana, Texas and Oklahoma, the butchers can bone a turkey in two and a half minutes and a chicken in a minute and five seconds. Still ... I am not a masochist. I have boned birds before. It's about as much fun as stripping paint. I called Staubitz, a butcher shop that's been in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, since 1917.(Annoying NYT registration: userid annoying, password annoying.) No, I don't think so. The Charlotte News-Observer asks a bunch of parents, including my pal Dave, if they're going to allow their under-17 kids to see the new Eminem movie "8 Mile". Although I do like Curtis Hanson a lot, I have absoutely no interest in Eminem or anything he does. In light of that, I found it interesting that despite good reviews, second weekend box office dropped 58% from opening weekend. Seems that most of the people who wanted to see it saw it right away, and it's dwindling fast. Food quotes. Me and all my Louisiana-traveling, pork-eating pals, a.k.a. "The Fat Pack", have been coming up with some mottoes, as well as collecting favorite food-related quotes this week. Anyone else care to contribute?
MOTTOES:If James Bond weren't so svelte. Of course, the above exchange set off a frenzy of gustatory excess with regards to jokes and puns ... Steve weighed in with:
"OK, with 'Never Say Full', now we're heading into Bond territory, so:And then Dave kicked in, causing me to spew iced tea all over my monitor and making my cow-orkers think I had gone insane:
"Baconwrappedfinger"I'll eat pork for Christmas ... Finally (I swear I'll stop ... soon), Rick offered the crowning touch, which will undoubtedly be sung during the upcoming holiday season and way beyond:
The Bacon SongOkay, I'll (probably) stop now.
Al-Qaeda to National Rifle Association: Thanks, dudes! Last Friday on NPR's "All Things Considered" I heard a blood-boiling report on Attorney General John Ashcroft's singularly insane defense of the privacy of gun purchase records, while at the same time the FBI is happily violating the privacy of every other kind of record in the name of the "War on Terrorism". Ashcroft's statements regarding a captured Al-Qaeda terrorist training manual are hideously disingenuous, to say the least:
Ashcroft testifying before Congress, 12/6/01: "In this manual, Al Qaeda terrorists are now told how to use America's freedom as a weapon against us."Interesting times ahead. My home state of Louisiana is, as this article puts it, as important to the 2002 election as Florida was to 2000. And what of McCain and Chaffee? It ain't over yet, apparently. From The Onion: What Do You Think? A bit late, but last week's "quotes" were brilliant. Our topic: Republicans Take The Senate.
In last Tuesday's midterm elections, Republicans retook the U.S. Senate, giving them control of both houses of Congress. What do you think?Valediction. David Fricke interviews Warren Zevon for Rolling Stone, perhaps for the last time. Our military, taking care of what's really important. Via Patrick, via Tom Tomorrow:
It's official: Your government has no interest in protecting you from terrorism. In fact, the supposed "war on terror" is of completely secondary importance to the much more important task of ejecting homosexuals from the military.Ick. Ick Åck Øck! A customer in an international hamburger chain outlet in western Sweden lost his appetite when he discovered the restaurant's toilet seats were being washed in its dishwasher alongside the kitchen utensils. I wonder which McChain it was.
chuck@gumbopages.com: Killed by spammers. The email address "chuck@gumbopages.com", which I've used to handle email generated by this web site for nearly the past six years, is gone. It will no longer work, and all email to that address will be automatically discarded from today on. The spam has gotten so bad that I just can't take it anymore. On any given morning I'll have fifty emails and at least a half-dozen Klez virii, in addition to maybe six or eight legit emails. And they keep piling up all day long, every single day. Enough. Basta! Those of you who have my private, personal email address can just keep using it. If not, please use the email contact form on this website to send me email. That address will never be publicized, and if the spammers somehow find that one out, I'll just change it again. It really pisses me off that I have to go through this because of shitbag spammers. Bastards. Dare we? How dare we not?
BROTHER BOBBY'S DEEP-FRIED SNICKERS BARMother of God ...
One person's disease is another person's delicacy. Black fungus. Corn smut. Merely two of the names American farmers have for what the Mexicans call huitlacoche (or cuitlacoche), and what many call the black truffle of Latin America. It grows on ears of corn, and farmers up here would throw away corn that was affected. The very idea! It's fabulous in tacos, soups, quesadillas; I'll eat it served almost any way. Get it in Los Angeles at the various Guelaguetzas (my favorite Oaxacan restaurant), Casa Antigua in West L.A., Lupe's Antojitos Y Comida in East L.A., Mexico City Restaurant in Anaheim if you're behind the Orange Curtain, or if you're popping south of the border try the Adobe Café in Puerto Vallarta or Cicero Centenario on Republica de Cuba in Mexico City. Check out the huitlacoche thread on Chowhound. Smut! Give me smut and nothing but! Imminent death of the Internet predicted, again. This time you might raise an eyebrow, though. Given the fact that at least 75% of the email I get every day is either spam or a Klez virus, it wouldn't hurt to think about the possibility of spam potentially killing off email, and the 'net in general. Whether this guy is right or wrong, it warrants some serious thought.
You are a suspect. A New York Times editorial, by William Safire.
If the Homeland Security Act is not amended before passage, here is what will happen to you:Even if you voted for George Bush, even if you voted Republican in last week's election ... you couldn't possibly want this. And if you're one of those idiots who keep saying, "Well, if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to worry about," then you truly don't understand what liberty and freedom and what it means to be American are all about. If you want to learn firsthand what it was like to live in the Soviet Union or any of the last (and this) century's delightful police states, just encourage your legislators to pass this bill unamended. The so-called "war on terrorism" is not worth this. Quote of the day. It bears repeating.
"They that can give up essential liberty for temporary security deserve neither liberty nor security."Some prissy old guy in the French Quarter, redux. Maggie Magnolia Ferrara, the world's stupidest shar-pei, is back in the news again. My complications have had complications, redux. The hideous metamorphosis of Michael Jackson continues ... Rick sends in this appalling photograph with the subject of his email being "What the hell?!??!!" (That's interrobang, interroterrobangbang.) He asks the first question that pops into most of our minds, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what in the name of all that's holy is that thing?" Mary provides the play-by-play: "Okay, look carefully at his 'nose' and note how the tip is totally not attached, and also how there is clearly a sheet of something, like a Band-aid or something plastic, laid across the bridge (giving it a dimension it has lacked lately, so it's not so needle sharp) and going all the way under his right eye (the left side fo the picture)... note also how you can see the sheet of plastic, or whatever it is, scrunched together at the tip of his nose, the same effect you get when folding a Band-aid around the tip of a finger. And the putty (or is it scar tissue?) lumped up on the sides of the nose. Oh my god." Well, that just about says it all. Yeesh. If he weren't so stinking rich I'd feel a little sorrier for him. Obviously money can't buy you a face. In other news, Jackson failed to show up this morning for the trial in which he's been called to testify.
Reclusive superstar Michael Jackson mysteriously failed to appear in court on Thursday for a second scheduled day of testimony in a $21 million breach-of-contract lawsuit as the Internet buzzed with gossip about his bizarre appearance.He still has screaming fans? Well, screaming in horror, maybe. Yeesh. This man is about to start a war. So, is the photo real? Faked? Real but photoshopped? You tell me.
Welcome to the runoff! Dennis Persica of the Times-Picayune addresses some issues about the national press corps' descent upon Louisiana for the runoff in the Senate race (via Josh, who speculates that every reporter will gain at least 10 pounds while there):
Please try to avoid food metaphors when discussing Louisiana. Howard Fineman of Newsweek referred to our open primary as a 'jambalaya primary' -- whatever that's supposed to mean -- in an interview on MSNBC. You also may be tempted to throw in words like cayenne, Tabasco and spicy when you're talking about our politics to a national audience. Please don't."Any Venezuelan beaver cheese?" "Not today, sir." The joys of stinky cheese, and what it truly takes to run a cheese shop. Chokehold on knowledge. A Los Angeles Times editorial on the Bush administration's continued undemocratic obsession with secrecy and the control of information (userid annoying, password annoying):
Since it's the threat of obscurantism we're hoping to thwart, let's be blunt: The Bush administration's plan to strip the Government Printing Office's authority is a threat to democracy.The Pentagon wants to spy on you. The New York Times reports that "[t]he Pentagon is constructing a computer system that could create a vast electronic dragnet, searching for personal information as part of the hunt for terrorists around the globe -- including the United States." The director of this program? Retired Vice Adm. John M. Poindexter, former National Security Adviser under Ronald Reagan, who was convicted of conspiracy, lying to Congress, defrauding the government and destroying evidence in the Iran-Contra scandal, which he also spearheaded.
... Poindexter has described the system in Pentagon documents and in speeches, it will provide intelligence analysts and law enforcement officials with instant access to information from Internet mail and calling records to credit card and banking transactions and travel documents, without a search warrant.Get ready for the rapture. Bill Moyers, on the current state of the federal government:
Way back in the 1950's when I first tasted politics and journalism, Republicans briefly controlled the White House and Congress. With the exception of Joseph McCarthy and his vicious ilk, they were a reasonable lot, presided over by that giant war hero, Dwight Eisenhower, who was conservative by temperament and moderate in the use of power.Right now I'm thanking God that the Democrats (weak and ineffectual as they are) control California.
Happy birthday to me, etc. Whaddaya know, I'm still 39. What a coinkydink. I was planning to take the day off today, but I managed to come up with a couple of interesting things when reading the paper this morning (login for the Los Angeles Times' highly annoying registration with the userid "annoying" and the password "annoying"): That's some shroom. Commercial director and restaurant owner Joe Pytka paid $35,000 for a single 2.2 pound white truffle. Pretty excessive, but it was for a charity auction. It'll arrive at his new French restaurant Bastide in West Hollywood tomorrow, and will be used in a variety of dishes made by chef Alain Giraud. Get ready to mortgage that house if you wanna eat there. Licuados, por favor! It's a longtime culinary tradition in Latin America, but licuados (also called batidos in Portuguese) -- milk blended with fresh fruits -- are starting to take off with a wider audience. I like the Portuguese version, made with condensed milk and with a couple of shots of cachaça added!
Danger! Fish of Death! Last night the local NBC affiliate ran a somewhat sensationalistic report on the supposed harmful effects of eating escolar, which is in fact one of my favorite fish. (It's delicious -- light and buttery.) The report talked about how escolar is practically fat-free because it contains oils that cannot be metabolized by the human body, as one doctor explained:
"Your body can't metabolize them. They can't be broken down so they remain there in that state. And so your body is going to eliminate them rapidly just like any other kind of roughage. So they will cause some diarrhea," explained Dr. William Mellon of the Los Angeles County/USC Medical Center.I had no idea, actually. I myself have never gotten the trots after eating escolar. A little Googling revealed that escolar is a type of fish called a gempylid, which produce oil that can have a purgative effect. Escolar (Lepidocybium flavobrunneum) was misidentified in the KNBC report as "castor oil fish", which is in fact another species, Ruvettus pretiosus, but apparently the FDA did ban escolar briefly in the early 1990s, "but reversed itself a few years ago and allowed it back on menus after deciding escolar wasn't "toxic." After all, not everyone got diarrhea and it isn't lethal." Despite this, some restaurants refuse to serve it -- "Too much of a crap shoot," says the chef of the Water Grill in downtown L.A., delivering a major groaner. Also, they reported that an elderly man is suing a restaurant and its fish supplier after his wife died a few days after a meal of escolar, blaming the fish even though there's no evidence to support his claim. Still, Santa Monica Seafood, who supplied the restaurant with its fish, no longer carries escolar. Covering their butts, I suppose. KNBC doesn't seem to be covering their butts, though, as they offer two recipes for escolar on the page for their news report. Unless I receive any, um, negative reinforcment, I'll order escolar again. It's tasty! Britain: "We may all bear the cost of the Democrats' failure." Reaction to the election from The Guardian:
[T]he Republicans' victories, sweet as they may be for them, are no cause for wider celebration. Suddenly all sorts of measures that could have been blocked in Congress can be pursued by the White House. As well as his tax cuts for the wealthy, Mr Bush can hope to see his conservative slate of judges for the Supreme Court approved and legislation to allow drilling for oil in Alaska's wildlife refuge. He might try to relax business regulation, although in the light of Enron and other scandals that remains problematic. And his so-called Homeland Security programme will continue to assault the civil liberties of American citizens."Darkness falls across the land, flowers wilt, the GOP takes full, and frightening, control." An editorial by Mark Morford, of the San Francisco Chronicle's SF Gate:
... [T]he basic upshot being that Congress will now have almost zero struggle or balanced counterargument when the GOP chooses to ram through more generally invidious resolutions and white-power laws."President Bush is a liar." The Nation's Eric Alterman says what no one else is apparently willing to come right out and say in print -- that the current acting President of the United States tells lies (and even better, has a tell when he's doing it). Alas, he's but only one of a long line of official liars.
Ciao! Don't let the door, etc. Rep. Richard Gephardt is stepping down as leader of the House Democrats. This is good. Dick, don't ever let me see you run for president again, either. This Modern World. Tom Tomorrow on "Morality, American-style" and "Profiles in Democratic Courage: A Flight of Fantasy." Ever wanted to buy a fainting goat? Today is your lucky day. Jon Carroll talks about the goat fainting phenomenon:
I know I am not taking this as seriously as I should. The fainting-goat people certainly don't see the humor; I urge you to explore the "Breed Standard" section of the Web site for some taste of the divisive two-teat versus four-teat controversy.Wank your way to solvency! The men at an auto factory in Romania have devised a rather novel (and fun) way to get their plant out of deficit and thereby save their jobs -- they're going to donate sperm to a fertility clinic, earning $50 a pop. Gee, the things one's willing to do for one's company ...
The Democrats are pathetic, and Dubya's wings take dream. The Republicans didn't take control of Congress last night because of any sweeping national mandate. They hold the House by only nine seats out of a total of 435, and the Senate by two out of 100. As Tom Tomorrow pointed out, "keep in mind how many of these races were decided by a statistical handful of voters -- as of this writing, it appears that Dole won by 9%, Chambliss by 7%, Coleman by 4%, Talent by one percent. These aren't exactly huge mandate-style numbers. And keep in mind that 61% of eligible voters didn't even bother to drag their asses off the couch for this one." The Republicans took control of Congress not only because of massive voter apathy, but primarily because the Democratic Party have utterly failed to provide vision, leadership and a true opposition. Republicrats, Demicans, whatever you want to call them ... they failed to show another way. I'm ready for the Democratic Party to sweep out all of their spineless, so-called "leaders" and find someone to build the party up and take it through to win the next election. Do I think this will really happen? Pfeh. Not with the likes of Gephardt and his ilk leading the Democrats. Bush and Lott: "The parties now need to work together." Translation: The Democrats will do whatever the Republicans say, and the tyranny of the majority will rule. Can't wait! As much as I dislike Gray Davis, I'm glad Simon didn't get in. At least Davis has signed some good legislation (domestic partnerships, etc.) which Simon never would have. "Slinking out the back door." SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt resigned yesterday, as Kevin pointed out, "right after the polls had closed in the East. After all, we wouldn't want to remind anyone of how thick the corporate corruption surrounding Dubya and his minions runs until after the election now, would we? As it turns out, the GOP-controlled Congress probably won't look into SEC malfeasance anymore anyway." *snicker* ... "Daschle, Gephardt: 'Political strategy is working'" A sadly hilarious bit from Busy Busy Busy, a site I might just have to add to my daily rounds:
Sen. Tom Daschle and Rep. Richard Gephardt plan(Via MeFi.) Piss off Ryan Adams, win a prize! Robbie Fulks (a great musician and by all accounts a great guy) still offers a prize for anyone who yells out a Bryan Adams request at a Ryan Adams show and then gets personally ejected by the puerile rock star. Unfortunately, it's unlikely to happen again. A friend of mine, via a contact at Adams' label, recently told me that those fan-ejection incidents were staged. Gee. Now Adams looks like an even bigger idiot. Hm, I guess we shouldn't invite Moby to our Thanksgiving turkey fry. Hip musician Moby, a vegan activist and PETA member, has taken aim at the Butterball company just in time for Thanksgiving:
The ever-controversial artist and known vegan has created a voice-mail message for animal-rights organization People for the Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) that singles out the practices of ConAgra Foods, the makers of the Butterball turkey brand.Actually, turkeys are ugly and stupid ... and they taste really good! Especially when injected with a marinade and then deep-fried! Or rubbed with a great glaze on and underneath the skin, stuffed with a dressing or with fruits and vegetables, and then roasted, or when made into a turducken (all of which are quite proper ways to cook those birds). Yum yum yum! Quote of the day. For the pessimist's view:
Dark stormclouds of sadness and pain passed over the collective soul of the United States and indeed much of the universe today as the Republican Party won control of American government and will hence have much less trouble passing more invidious laws that further its adorably sniveling and very, very mean-spirited agenda of war, big business, corporate inbreeding, heartlessness, artlessness, cultural degradation, homophobia, misogyny, racism, fear, dread, gluttony, and uptight sexless puling about everything that doesn't gibe with rich whitebread Americana doctrines of money and power or vague karmic misery and sneering fear of anyone who makes less than six figures or has genuine orgasms or really loves the environment or personal freedom or alternative viewpoints or laughter. "Hail Satan!" giggled a heavily shellacked Elizabeth Dole as she stepped into Jesse Helms' crusty, moldy, homophobic pink slippers. "Let the Dark Days !"[ Link to today's entries ]
Quote of the day. "Before we bring democracy to Iraq, how about we bring it to Florida?" -- Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show". There are early, unconfirmed reports that some Florida electronic voting machines are registering votes for Bush when the box for McBride is touched. Finally, no more feckin' projections. Voter News Service, the people whose exit polls are responsible for the highly annoying (and frequently inaccurate) projections of who's going to win an election, have abandoned their plans to provide predections of the outcome of today's election. They screwed up in 2000, and they decided that the same computer problems they blamed for the screwup would probably happen again. I think these widely broadcast projections should be illegal, actually. I don't want to know the goddamn outcome before the votes are counted. Count the votes and then tell us who won. I can't believe it took them this long to learn that projections are bad. If you haven't voted yet, and you're approached by an exit pollster after you do, I recommend you politely tell them to buzz off, that you don't talk to exit pollsters, and that whom you voted for and why is your own private business. That's what I'll do.
The "bumbling bag of bolts" will be rusting now.
Jonathan Harris, the character actor who among many other roles
Born Jonathan Charasuchin in the Bronx to Russian-Jewish immigrant parents, Harris adopted the stage persona of a classically trained British actor with his grandiloquent accent, crisp enunciation and professorial manner.Have a look at a collection of Dr. Smith's insults, most if not all of which were aimed at the robot. It ... could ... WORK! Very encouraging news on the Ignatius front, as in who's going to play him in the "Confederacy of Dunces" film -- it's looking like it'll be Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's a great actor, has the right stature, but needs to be more flamboyant and less mumbly than he's been in several of his roles. I know he can do it. Whoo! Shake the hand that shook the hand ... I am now two degrees of separation from Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Why? 'Cause I met their bartender last night. Dale DeGroff, perhaps America's most renowned bartender and cocktail expert, has just written and published a fabulous book entitled The Craft of the Cocktail, which is "everything you need to become a master bartender, with 500 recipes." It's beautifully designed, with the requisite basic information on spirits, glassware, technique, plus Dale's insistence (which was an early inspiration for Wes and I and our similar insistence) of using only fine quality ingredients and especially fresh juices in cocktails. There are also interesting and amusing anecdotes from his many years as a bartender, but the true treasure of this volume is the collection of Dale's definitive recipes, including many of his own creations. He was in town last night, signing books and (especially!) making cocktails at a restaurant and bar called Linq, on W. 3rd Street near the Beverly Center. Wes couldn't make it, but I made a beeline after work and got there as soon as I could. There were a decent number of people in the small bar area, a photographer from Daily Variety, and I moved amongst the assorted minglers. It was a friendly crowd as well, as a couple of people came up and introduced themselves, and we began chatting about cocktails, naturally. Dale was concentrating on a handful of special drinks last night, and those were all on the house. (Free! My favorite price! And remember ... if it's free, take two!) Turns out that they were friends of the publicist for the event, and didn't really know much about Dale or about cocktails. Their drinks were very tasty-looking, yellow with a frothy head, but they didn't know what was in it other than pineapple, nor what it was called. "This is one of his specialties," said the woman, "and he's making a couple of others, including this Flame of Love Martini." My eyebrows went up. "Really," I said. Given the fact that I'd never had the opportunity to dine at the late, old-guard-star-studded Chasen's, I'd never had an opportunity to be served a Flame of Love by anyone, much less the likes of its venerable inventor Pepe Ruiz, bartender at Chasen's for over 35 years. I'd tried to make a few at home, but haven't quite gotten the hang of flaming that orange peel. "In fact," she went on, "apparently the guy who invented it is over there somewhere." She gestured toward the opposite end of the bar. I think I let out a sound that was somewhere between "Hunh?!" and "Glerp!", excused myself so quickly that she was probably miffed, and headed in the opposite direction. There at the end of the bar was a sharply dressed, older Latino gentleman chatting with three other older gentlemen, all of whom were dressed in red jackets bearing the crest of the United States Bartenders' Guild. "Mr. Ruiz?" He turned. I introduced myself, told him it was an honor and a pleasure to meet him, and would he mind signing inside Dale's book next to his recipe for the Flame of Love, and the story of how he came to invent it especially for Dean Martin, and how Frank Sinatra tasted it and liked it so much he threw a party at Chasen's and ordered two hundred of them. He seemed surprised and pleased that someone would even recognize him. He was a lovely man, and full of stories; he also said at one point, with a trace of sadness, that the drinks I was talking about as my favorites are ones he never hears of anymore. Sigh. I shook his hand to take my leave, and a familiar voice behind me said, "Only you would go right to this guy and get his autograph!" or words to that effect. It was, of course, my friend Dr. Cocktail, whom I just knew would be there. I was thrilled to meet Pepe and Dale, and I had an absolutely fabulous time, chatting with Doc and the old bartenders and sampling Dale's wares. He made me a Caipirissima, a Millenium Cocktail (one of his award-winning specialties), and I also sampled an absolutely perfectly made Martini -- Bombay Gin, Noilly Prat vermouth, stirred for at least 15 seconds with a great deal of ice, garnished with an olive and a twist. It was exquisite. Cocktail of the day. A few years ago Dale DeGroff was commissioned by Courvoisier to create a new cocktail featuring their Millennium cognac bottling, which he then called the Millennium Cocktail. He later figured he needed to change the name, as he was very happy with the way the cocktail turned out and he'd hate to see it relegated to the trash heap of millennial merchandise. Later on, he discovered that an out-of-print book called The Roving Bartender, written by Bill Kelly in 1946, had a cocktail called the East India Cocktail that contained the same basic ingredients. Dale's version has some subtle but important differences that make for a wonderful flavor, and as far as I can tell, he's still calling it the Millennium (he was last night, at least). It was absolutely lovely.
The Millennium CocktailEmail of the day. There was only a subject line, no message body:
From: W. Jones <JJones****@AOL.Com>Did you check in the right-hand cabinet, behind the soy sauce?
Shit. I can't help but feel that I should share the responsibility for this, as I only went three or four times a year. This arrived from my favorite sf bookstore, Dangerous Visions, in yesterday afternoon's email:
From: Dangerous Visions <readsf@readsf.com>At least they're not going out of business completely, but I'll miss going in there to browse, even if I didn't go all that often in between signings. Sigh. This is the last sf bookstore in the Los Angeles area, after the long-ago demise of the lamented and sorely missed A Change of Hobbit.
And so begins the Noble Experiment. I abused book clubs when I was a wee lad. It's quite possible that the Science Fiction Book Club and the Book of the Month Club still have contracts out on me. For years I lived in mortal terror of walking down the street one day, having a well-dressed heavy-set man in see-through socks come up to me and say, "Da boys from Camp Hill say hello," then pumping six bullets into me. It's the typical thing. Get the monthly flier. Forget to send in the card. Get the selection of the month in the mail, which I don't want. Mark it "REFUSED" and give it back to the mail carrier. Goes back to the book club at their expense. Book club gets pissed off, sends threatening letters. Ignore threatening letters. Book club capos say to their button men, "I've got a stone in my shoe." Apparently I've been redeemed among the Book Club Five Families, because several weeks ago I got an invitation to join The Good Cook, a book club for all food-related books and cookbooks. Thing is, I got it at my work address, meaning they probably don't realize that I'm that Chuck Taggart. I decided to give the book club thing another try, though ... mostly due to the introduction of the fabulous World Wide Web as a response method. That, plus the fact that the quality of book club editions is much higher than when I was a kid, and that I could get some staggeringly expensive cookbooks for a buck each:
Simple Italian Food, by Mario BataliI saved $160.95 over the regular editions, and these editions appear to be exactly the same, glossy paper and all. I logged on The Good Cook website, declined this month's selection and paid for my five books online. It took about a minute. <voice="Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein">It ... could ... WORK!!</voice> Man, that book is right on. If you're even merely considering the notion of buying a house, buy Home Buying for Dummies, by Eric Tyson and Ray Brown. It's fantastic, and contains everything you need to know. One of the things it said is that you will freak out after the home inspector hands you his report. Boy, were they right about that. Have you no sense of decency, sir? The National Rifle Association, personnified by their reptilian leader Charlton Heston, decided to go ahead with a pro-gun rally in Tucson only two days after three university professors were murdered by a gun-toting lunatic just four miles from the site of the shootings.
Quote of the day.
"Ronald Reagan may have been a hard line conservative, but had [Sen. Paul] Wellstone died during his watch you wouldn't have heard liberals asking whether the Gipper had had him offed. Bush is different. Asking mailmen to spy on ordinary Americans, creating military tribunals for anyone deemed an "enemy combatant," locking prisoners of war in dog cages, spending a decade's worth of savings in six months, allowing journalists to die rather than provide them with help in a war zone, smearing Democratic politicians as anti-American, invading sovereign nations without excuse -- these are acts that transgress essential American reasonableness. A man capable of these things seems, by definition, capable of anything. " October Looka! entries have been permanently archived.
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