    "Eating, drinking and carrying on..." -- Adelaide Brennan
You can't fix stupid. I didn't get a chance to see Da Papuh (i.e., the New Orleans Times-Picayune) online this morning, but Michael sends along this article that had him splutter his morning coffee all over the paper this morning. There's a bar in Gentilly called "Kisses" (formerly called "The Big Easy," which is a stupid name for a bar that's owned by an actual local) that's trying to reopen over the strenuous objections of its neighbors. The neighbors said that pre-Katrina it was a haven for underage drinkers, who would get very rowdy late at night, get into fights, sexual assaults, etc. So in that context, the bar owner had this to say about a compromise solution that would make the bar close at 2 AM:
*facepalm* Cheeses ... Mary and Joseph! Last Saturday we threw an Audreypalooza!; a.k.a., a party in honor of our friend Audrey's visit to L.A.-L.A.-land from her East Coast Connecticut/New York digs. We knew a Fat Pack food extravaganza of the highest order was called for, so first we stocked up on needed supplies -- four packages of bacon (two Nueske's, two Niman Ranch). Then we came up with the idea of a Grilled Cheese-O-Rama -- several of us would bring our panini presses and George Formans (and in our case, the spiff new Cuisinart Griddler we just got with a delightful 20% off coupon from Bed Bath & Beyond), plus cheese acquired everywhere from Trader Joe's to the Cheese Stores of Beverly Hills and Silverlake and Roma, our favorite Italian deli/grocery in Pasadena, plus fresh-baked breads from La Brea Bakery, L.A. Bread Company and other small local bakeries, plus a host of mustards, preserves, spreads, fruits, nuts, what have you, and let our grilled cheese imaginations run wild. We'd cut each sandwich up into six or eight pieces and spread 'em around (or, if we were too impatient, just take a bite and pass). The cheeses we came up with were delightfully varied: Prima Donna (Netherlands, cow), Roaring Forties Blue (Australia/Tasmania, cow), a French sheep's milk blue cheese that someone wrote down as "Onctiel" (but for which I can find no reference anywhere on the Internets using the Google), Montenegro (Spain, sheep, soft ash-covered), Dubliner (Ireland, cow), Organic Pepper Monterey Jack, Extra Sharp Cheddar and Fresh Mozzarella (all domestic), Époisses (France, cow, and the pasteurized version, sadly), an Italian truffle cheese of indeterminate variety from Trader Joe's, a goat's milk Brie-style from France, Fontinella, English Cheddar with Caramelized Onions (another Trader Joe's find), Cotswold (Cow, England), Queso Poblano (a locally-made, creamy melting cheese in the northern Mexican style) plus Good Ol' Kraft American slices. The sandwiches we came up with were, I must say, fantastic. Every single one of them was great. We ended up with twenty of 'em.
And there were snacks, chips and salsa and there was cake and there were cupcakes and there were cocktails both alcoholic and non, and an absolutely splendid time was had by all. Chodorow has a beef. You may remember restauranteur Jeffrey Chodorow from that train wreck of a TV "reality" show entitled "The Restaurant," where we watched staged, contrived depictions of pretty-boy celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito's real-life Chodorow-financed restaurant self-destruct before our eyes ("where Mama's meatballs were sauced with acrimony and eventual litigation," said New York Times food critic Frank Bruni). Chodorow's 29 restaurants seem to revolve more around gimmickry and exclusivity of "the scene" than around the food (from what I've read, anyway; I've yet to dine in one). That said, he's been very successful and he's made a ton of money. His latest, a staggeringly expensive New York establishment called Kobe Club, features Japanese, Australiana and American wagyu ("Kobe" or Kobe-style) beef at stratsopheric prices. The Times critic Bruni was mostly unimpressed, giving the restaurant a zero-star review (zero stars at the Times cover the range from poor to satisfactory, and Kobe Club was deemed "satisfactory"). Chodorow rather unwisely responded to this review with a full-page ad in the New York Times, in the form of a letter to Dining Section editor Pete Wells, denouncing Bruni but leaving behind a distinct whiff of "methinks the lady doth protest too much." Subsequently Chodorow banned Bruni from "all my [29] restuarants," promising his staff that the first one to recognize Bruni and eject him will receive a free trip for two to the Caribbean. I find this all terribly amusing, primarily for how it's continuing to shake out. Bruni's next review was for another steakhouse, this one at the Penthouse Executive Club (i.e., Bob Guccione-owned and Penthouse magazine-related), where the steaks are served with a side order of strippers. Bruni gave that restaurant one star. (Incidentally, Andy at Towleroad has an interesting take on that review.) The clincher comes from Anthony Bourdain, who's almost always right on the money, commenting on the whole brouhaha:
Heh heh heh ... yeah you rite, Tony. Not quite, Laura. Laura Bush, apparently an Iraq war and insurgency expert now, declared on CNN the other night that things are going really well in Iraq, but the awful treasonous liberal media keeps reporting that "one bombing" per day that makes it all look bad. As John Aravosis points out on AmericaBlog, it's not one attack a day, it's more like two hundred thirty (averaging 180 attacks per day on U.S. troops and 50 on civilians). From Stars and Stripes:
John also observes, "if a shopping mall or a university a day were getting blown up in the US, would Mrs. Bush reassure us that it's only one a day? And speaking of comparisons with the US, Iraq has less than one-tenth the population of the US, so "one bombing a day" - and let's be clear, what she means is "one suicide bombing a day" - would be equal to 10 suicide bombings a day in the malls and universities and kids' soccer fields of America." Otherwise OK though, right? (Perhaps Laura should just STFU, before she starts inviting comparisons to Elena Ceauşescu.) [ Link to today's entries ]
Happiness is ... finding out that the plumbing repair that we were afraid would cost thousands will probably only cost about $450, and that the resultant musty stench emanating from our crawlspace under the house can be eliminated "easily." (Whew.) 1300% of retail?!! The DallasFood.org site does a fascinating investigative report of a brand of simple yet absurdly overpriced chocolates called Noka that are sell for between $300 and $900 per pound. The question is ... are they worth the money? Editorial cartoon of the day. Yes, it's chuckleworthy, but it's also a chilling portrait of our dangerously delusional vice-president. 
Noteworthy is the fact that this cartoon was drawn by the cartoonist of the Salt Lake Tribune, not exactly a bastion of the so-called (and largely mythical) "liberal media." Sociopathic quote of the day. Could it be that this woman is even more of a monster than her mother-in-law?
Laura the Iraq expert ... and damn that awful television for showing those discouraging once-daily bombings.
Yeah. Discouraging. But other than that, stable! What do you think would happen in the United States of America if there were one such daily bombing? Only one? You know exactly what would happen -- the entire country would fall apart, and we would likely end up under martial law. Even though "most parts" would be "stable." (What is it about the Bush family that produces such horrid, horrid people?) [ Link to today's entries ]
The two faces of Thomas. Taken by his mom.
Oh, and it's his mom's birthday today too ... happy boit'day, dawlin'!! [ Link to today's entries ]
Go to the Mardi Gras! Let's let Fess sing it, shall we?
Happy Mardi Gras, y'all! And because I couldn't go home this year, and because I live in a heathen, uncivilized land that makes you go to work on Lundi Gras, Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday, here I am at frakkin' work (and a busy day it's been too). I hope you had (and are still having) a great Mardi Gras wherever you are, and since I can't join you, I'll at least share a few pictures from last year, taken on the streets of the Tremé outside St. Augustine Church and the Backstreet Cultural Center. 
Well the prettiest little thing that I ever seen, Mardi Gras Indians down in New Orleans! He sewed all night and he sewed all day, Mardi Gras morning, went all the way! Indians comin' from all over town, Big Chief singin, gonna take 'em down, Jock-e-mo feeno, ee-la hey, Indians are rulers on the holiday! Mardi Gras morning won't be long, gonna play Indian, gonna carry on, maskers runnin' up and down the avenue, "Here come the Indians, let 'em through!" I'm a Indian ruler from the 13th Ward, Blood shiffa hoona I won't be bought, I walked through fire and I swam through mud, snatched the feathers from an eagle, drank panther blood! I got an itty-bitty spy with a heart of steel, shank won't get you his hatchet will, geddie may hocko mmm yoo na no, he shoot de gun in de jailhouse door! I'll bring my gang all over town, drink fire water till the sun go down. We get back home, we gonna kneel and pray ... we had some fun on the holiday! [ Link to today's entries ]
Why New Orleans needs you. This very good article is linked from MSN's main page today, which (some perspective) is the start page for millions of people's web browsers across the country. I don't often get the chance to thank Microsoft for anything, but this would be one of those times. (Thanks, Wes!) [ Link to today's entries ]
Ladies and gentlemen, meet my nephew Thomas. Photographed on his birth day, February 1, 2007. 
It is my very objective and unbiased opinion that he is the most beautiful child in the history of humanity. (Although if you have kids I suppose he'll end up coming in second. :-) Climb onto The Levee! I'm not sure why I hadn't heard of this before (well, they're only on their third issue), but there's a great new publication in New Orleans, also available online, called The New Orleans Levee, a satirical paper probably best described as "The Onion for New Orleans." Here's a sample story:
Um, say bra ... dis is really funny! And in the grand tradition of The Onion so true that it's almost not funny. Read The Levee thoroughly, every time it comes out, either online or else pick it up somewhere in the city. Support its advertisers. They'll help us keep dat sensa humuh well erled ... and New Orleans needs that now, especially when the satire is as pointed as this. Tony Bourdain on why the Food Network sucks now. I used to watch it every day. Now I never watch, or almost never. All their greatest shows are gone now, replaced by mostly crap, and Uncle Tony tells it like it is. Food Network now seems to be personnified not by the likes of Mario Batali, but by the likes of Rachel Ray (and sorry love, I don't buy the self-defense). That, plus Tony's other egregious examples of Food Network's current programming, mean that I've switched to reading food writers and cookbooks (which is better for me anyway). While we're on the subject, here's a bit from the New Yorker, Bill Buford on the state of food television. Julia, we miss you. (Via MeFi) [ Link to today's entries ]
I wish I hadn't read this. The second posting of the day, below this one, was news that came to me this morning and filled me with joy. I couldn't wait to post it and pass it on. I made the mistake of going to NOLA.com, the Times-Picayune's website, looking for any coverage and more details, and came across this instead.
How do you address the crime problem in the city when you have things like this happening? What kind of mother, what kind of human being, would do this? She needs to be put away for a long time, obviously, but how many more people are there like her? Is it even possible to rehabilitate her kid after being raised by someone like this? Jesus Christ. "How ya want dat cooked? Fried, or deep-fried?" (There WILL be good news today, goddammit ...) Real and wannabe Chalmatians and Arabians rejoice ... Rocky & Carlo's has reopened!  
 
The restaurant opened quietly yesterday, and even though it wasn't announced the place was apparently packed anyway. I wish I had been there ... I'd have even had the stuffed peppers! The pictures were from our last visit to Rocky and Carlo's on May 1, 2005, just shy of four months before it was submerged by the Army Corps of Engineers' flood that was brought about by Hurricane Katrina. It's amazing that given all that damage they came back so relatively quickly. From what I've heard the layout is the same but the interior is different, obviously, spruced up and with new, clean bathrooms (hooray!), but not to worry -- we'll dinge it up properly soon enough. We gotta go back there too, as soon as possible. All right, give us a goddamn break ... Yes, it's terribly sad that Anna Nicole Smith died, and that her infant daughter is left parentless. Despite all her problems I'm sure she was basically a good person. That said, her death merits a mention on the news but not the insane media frenzy that allegedly "respectable" news sources like CNN are providing. The lady was a stripper and ditzed-out unscripted-TV personality who became famous only because she married a billionaire old enough to be her grandfather, and fought with his family for the money when he died just over a year later. The amount of coverage by the "news" networks is completely unwarranted. Or, as ThinkProgress says:
Three American soldiers died in combat yesterday, fourteen in the past three days. They're shooting down about one helicopter a week now. There are enormous car bomb explosions among crowds of civilians every couple of days. The Iraqi army is a tragedy of errors, corruption and incompetence. U.S. airstrikes bomb insurgents, killing 13 of them, but also manage to kill 45 civilans, including women and children. Senate Republicans are refusing to allow a debate on the Iraq War. The right wing are smearing Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in a hail of bullshit. Bob Harris points out some other aspects of that apparently slow news day that got trumped by the Smith coverage:
This is what needs to be in the news, not Anna Nicole Smith (may she rest in peace, finally ... although nobody's letting her). U.S. Government, Army Corps of Engineers face Gargantuan lawsuit. If this is what it takes to get money out of them, and to get them to do the right thing, then so be it.
Yeah, I'll bet. Now that's what I call a doughnut. (Thanks to John Miller for the tip on this one.) If I ever find myself in Portland, Oregon, I'm heading straight to Voodoo Donuts, and I'm gonna have me the Maple Bacon Bar. With apologies to Stan's in Westwood and his legendary chocolate chip peanut butter pocket doughnut, I think the Bacon Maple Bar could well be the most perfect doughnut ever. (I shall avoid like the veritable plague, however, the tray of "vegan donuts," because it is physically, spiritually, scientifically and culinarily impossible to make vegan baked goods that don't taste like shit.) [ Link to today's entries ]
New Orleans food news, good and bad. OffBeat reported in their weekly newsletter that "last week, Starbucks donated $175,000 to Leah Chase to finish repair work on Dooky Chase Restaurant. The Southern Foodways Alliance got renovations started on the famed restaurant, which took on four feet of water after Hurricane Katrina. Chase plans to have the restaurant open again in April." This is very good news, and means we can celebrate with a Dooky Chase's meal during Jazzfest! Kudos to Starbucks for putting their money in the right place. (Their coffee still sucks though, sorry.) I'd also read a report last week that Chef John Besh of Restaurant August had bought the venerable La Provence restaurant on the North Shore, taking ownership while leaving legendary Chef Chris Keragiorgiou at the helm to continue his fine cooking. The sad news is that Chef Chris (beloved to many New Orleaninans who not only loved his restaurant but loved the wacky local cooking TV shows he used to do with Chef Goffredo Fraccaro, formerly of La Riviera) passed away suddenly last weekend. OffBeat reports that this "throws the restaurant's future in doubt ... Besh announced that he will keep the restaurant open through Valentine's Day in honor of Chef Chris, for whom the holiday was important. After that, it will close for five weeks, during which time Chef Besh will plan the future of the restaurant with the vision of Chef Chris in mind." I hope he can keep it going, and keep the memory of Chef Chris alive on its menu. Fantastic New Orleans food news! Mandina's has reopened on Canal Street!! It actually reopened yesterday, a week ahead of schedule, and reportedly is restored to ... well, beyond its former ... well, splendor isn't the word one might use, but y'all who've eaten there know what I mean. The bar's been moved back to where the back dining room used to be, and from what I've read it looks fantastic -- they didn't just restore it to the way it was before the flood, they restored it to the way it was when it originally opened in the 1930s. (Wow!) As much as we want to revisit Delmonico, this is where we need to eat the Wednesday night we get back into town, Fat Pack. Just when you thought they couldn't get more incompetent. It's just crazy ... as Audrey said in email this morning, "There's something so Wile E. Coyote about this whole thing. Literally tons of cash, being loaded up with forklifts? Did they not have the official Acme Cash Catapult available that day?"
Former CPA head Paul Bremer, when questioned about this, recited a litany of excuses. And as is typical of this administration, there is no accountability whatsoever. "Want to get even angrier?" Steve added. "Look at it this way -- pallets of currency were lifted into Iraq, while in New Orleans, people are still waiting for a single check." They can make the money happen lickety-split for the Iraqi Minister of Finance, but they can't make it happen in a year and a half for tens of thousands of American citizens in New Orleans who lost everything they had? Love that chicken from Bon Chon ... Y'know, in my book Popeye's is tough to beat for fast food fried chicken (even if it's not quite what it once was), but I'm gonna have to keep my eye out for Korean-style fried chicken, which looks really, really good -- "crunchy, spicy, perfectly nongreasy chicken the apotheosis of the Korean style."
Oh my Gawd, that sounds good. With such a huge Koreatown in Los Angeles, surely there must be some of this around. Does anybody know of a place? [ Link to today's entries ]
He rode a blazing saddle, he wore a shining star... Francesco Paolo LoVecchio is gone. This son of Sicilian immigrants, who was better known as Frankie Laine, singer of "Rawhide," "Mule Train" and everything from jazz numbers to the theme song from "Blazing Saddles," died yesterday at age 93. Head 'em up, move 'em out ... "Can we recreate this?" asks Steve. "This" is the staff party for the staff of the Spotted Pig in New York. It was held at Mario Batali's Del Posto (where my sister and brother-in-law went a few months before Thomas was born and had a meal that made me so jealous I had to hate them both just a little bit, for about five seconds), and featured, among other things, six roasted suckling pigs, deep-fried bacon, deep-fried Rice Krispies treats, and scenarios like this:
Um ... oh my. What I'm not sure about is the dishes scattered with Twinkies, Ringdings and other store-bought sweets, and the sauce for the foie gras that was made by "melting three bags of Starburst candy into two cans of Red Bull and seasoning with salt and pepper."
Ohh, I dunno, Crow ... That said ... pigs, bacon, deep-fried Rice Krispie treats ... sounds like us. These are our kinda people. Can we recreate this? I feel it is our duty. I'll even try that awful-sounding sauce. Speaking of Del Posto ... here's the tasting menu from the night my sister and brother-in-law dined there. SALUMI MISTI with Erbazzone and Sweet Pumpkin INSALATA di MARE with Sea Weed GARGANELLI al Ragù Bolognese VENISON with Brussels Sprouts and Sour Plums Lemon SORBETTO Oh Jesus ... The English contribution to world cuisine. Ah, Otto ... it goes far beyond the chip. (Hey, I love chips.) If you include the entirety of the U.K. there are Scotch eggs, spotted dick and haggis too! Alana, an American living in Scotland, has been doing a tour of traditinal British cuisine and offers her opinions. A sampling:
I have a shameful, shameful confession to make ... I ... I ... actually kinda like Heinz Salad Cream. *hangs head* You reap what you sow. "Conservatives," says John Aravosis, "aligned with religious right Republicans, have spent the past six years (plus) demonizing gays, immigrants, Muslims, and everyone else they could get their hands on," and what has that led to? the resurrection of the Ku Klux Klan, who see opportunity in the rising tide of Muslim-, immigrant- and gay-bashing. Oh, well done. (Do some reading up on the law of unintended consequences sometime, whydontcha?) Digby has more examples of the current wave of right-wing lunacy:
Their lunacy is increasing because they're becoming increasingly desperate, knowing that more and more Americans aren't buying their claptrap anymore. [ Link to today's entries ]
A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country. The new single by Randy Newman (currently available exclusively as an iTunes download) demonstrates that the guy we thought was happy just doing soundtracks is indeed still, as he was 30 years ago as well, a sharp political satirist. The unexpurgated lyrics:
As Monty Python once sang, I bet they won't play this song on the radio. Here's a Newsweek interview with Randy about the new song. [ Link to today's entries ]
Well kid, it's about time you showed up! My nephew Thomas was born at about 5:30pm today, eight-and-a-half healthy pounds. Reddish-brown hair, and already has his hands in his mouth, preparing to shovel in the bacon as soon as it's time. Mother and son are doing well. WOOHOO, I'M AN UNCLE!! Molly Ivins, RIP. She passed away yesterday, after long, multiple bouts with breast cancer. She was one of the good guys, and she went way too soon. Thanks to Rick, who compiled a few favorite quotes of hers:
Thanks for your words and your passion, Molly. I fear we may not see your likes again. January Looka! entries have been permanently archived. [ Link to today's entries ]
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